I woke up this morning crying. That's a weird, unexpected way to start the day. I have a feeling there were unpleasant dreams that preceded this strange awakening, but I chose not to try too hard to remember what they may have been.
My sweet , analytical husband must have wanted to turn and run, but instead he chose to watch me cry, gently probe what might be behind it all and then clear it all up with the declaration of, "babe, life is just hard right now". I think that just about says it all!!
I know myself well enough to know that the best thing I can do at a point of "break-down" is forward motion. Just about any kind will do, but action that ends in something cleaner, more organized, or visible improvement will inevitably lift low spirits. So, action it is....we're going to clean the deck!
Who knew that power washing could be so therapeutic?
As I watched the months of accumulated grime to striped away from the flag stone, this occurred to me:
I could see improvement to matter how much pressure was applied. It just looked better to have the dirt washed away. But, the closer I held the nozzle to the stones, or increased the pressure to the surface, the more of the stones beauty was revealed. The true color of the rock, the grain , the uniqueness of each one began to show. Maybe, that's just what my life it experiencing right now: Maybe the "pressures " of life are being applied so that the best part of me can be revealed. Maybe God is removing all the layers of life and "grime" that tend build up over time as I go about my busy days, unaware of the dirt that has slowly fallen on my soul.
Lord, I thank you for the pressures, the trials, of life that I'm currently living. I pray that you will use them to reveal yourself to me and in that revelation, I will be changed to become more like you. I ask you today to cleanse me of the layers of sin: unforgiveness, pride, disobedience, and the layers that I'm not sure how to label. Just cleanse me, help me to push forward through the pain and feel closer to you in the process. Each time I see the flagstone path, remind me of your willingness to forgive me, cleanse me, and in that cleansing, make me more like what you intended when you created me .